August 2004 Archives

Most (perhaps all) rooms at my school have windows. This includes most/all of the faculty offices, and many professors have taken to displaying messages by taping things to the inside of their windows. Though this phenomenon tends to devote overmuch effort to expounding the God-awful delicacy of the southwest Florida ecosystem is - at least to my taste - I really can't argue against free speech. Which is actually somewhat ironic, but oh-bloody-well.

One of the offices, which I pass on the way to class nearly every day, is owned by a teacher with obvious strong affection for the Democratic party. No surprise there; this is, after all, a college campus. Those of us who don't hug trees recreationally are the only minority without any sort of special treatment. But what really gets my goat is the that this teacher, whose identity I have thus far resisted the urge to discover, has posted in his or her window the simple statement that, "When Clinton lied, nobody died."

First of all, Vince Foster. That's all I'm going to say about that. Where there's smoke, there's usually fire, and we've got a great big plume of the grey stuff floating over Arkansas.

Secondly, Clinton ordered a US strike on Iraq in 1998, to "attack Iraq's nuclear, chemical and biological weapons programs and its military capacity to threaten its neighbors". This attack managed to kill plenty of Iraqi soldiers and civilians, but didn't seem to phase Saddam Hussein in the least. Incidentally, this action just so happened to coincide nicely with the start of impeachment hearings against then-President Clinton. Happy accident, I suppose.

Further, Clinton ordered a US-led bombing of Yugoslavia in 1999. The bombing continued for 78 days. I somehow doubt that we managed to pull that off without hitting anybody. The Serbian Orthodox Church would seem to agree with me; they sued Clinton to stop him from bombing them again.

Anyway. When Clinton lied, nobody died? I propose a simple rebuttal: When Bush dropped bombs, we stopped Saddam.

10: Tell them the tickets weren't made from recycled paper.

9: Require them to count to 911 before letting them through the door.

8: Convince them that blubber from slaughtered whales is a major component of celluloid.

7: Tell them Hillary Clinton hated it.

6: Inform them, feigning appropriate horror, that Michael Moore eats meat.

5: Hand them a joint and suggest they see 'Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle' instead.

4: Dress in a chicken costume and picket the theater, claiming the movie is offensive to your people. If they ask to which people you are referring, act offended and threaten to call the ACLU.

3: Tell them Rush Limbaugh loved it.

2: Tell them they don't have time to see the movie, as they've won a free all-expenses-paid trip to Cambodia. Send them to Vietnam. When they return, indignantly inform them that they were indeed in Cambodia, and that the memory is seared - seared - into your memory.

And the number one way to prevent liberals from seeing 'Fahrenheit 911':

1: Tell them all the pre-show advertising is for the Fox News Channel.

Blow, wind! Come, wrack!


Obviously I perished in the storm.

No? Okay, I lived, but the server died.

No? Power's out? No 'net access?


Eat, it Charley! Yeah! King Kong ain't got shit on me!

Power's Still On


And now it's a cat-four storm. And it's turning our direction.


Stormclouds for Algernon


Charley is coming.

First off, what the hell kind of a name for a storm is 'Charley'? I didn't realize we were using nicknames for hurricanes now.

It's interesting to note that I'm not sure whether I'm under an evacuation order or not - some information seems to imply that my entire county has been ordered out, while other info says it's just the coastal areas, and still more information earnestly informs me that the beach is under 'mandatory voluntary evacuation'. Whatever the holy hell that means.

Ah well. I'm updating this now, even though nobody will ever see it if something goes wrong; The server is located about nine feet to my right, you see. Also, FPL has a hard time keeping the lights on even on sunny days, so I'm not holding out much hope that my webserver will be up an running during a category two hurricane.

Though, stranger things have happened. Like Democrats nominating an apparent liar for president. Again.