November 2004 Archives
I promised I'd stop, but I lied.
First, the vaunted 'youth vote'. What the Kerry campaign seemed to miss is something good teachers figure out early on: kids are just little people. If approximately half of the population as a whole is voting Republican, then the same is more-or-less true for those under 21 (or 35, or 18, or whatever cut-off we're using to describe this mythical bloc). Folks in the Kerry camp, like known idiot Michael Moore, thought that they were energizing the youth vote, converting them, getting out the vote - the problem is that it's a futile exercise. Just as is the case with the larger population, the youths most likely to be swayed by Puff Daddy in an insane t-shirt are also those least likely to show up at the polls. If you're going to put your faith in your ability to mold human clay, you need to be aware that said clay will tend to flake out on you when you need them the most.
Second: Exit polls. We had a clear demonstration of the uselessness of exit polling this November 2nd, right around noon-ish. And yet we're still discussing them! I'm sick of hearing what percentage of the Hispanic vote went for whom. The fact is, we don't really know. If the figures being tossed around were trustworthy and accurate, then I guess Kerry won the election. Which, despite some left-wing nut-jobs' insistence in the affirmative, he most assuredly did not.
Finally, talk of secession. When you live in a democratic nation, you implicitly accept the will of the majority. If you don't like it, leave. You don't get to take New England with you. And if I hear one more batty lefty telling us that all the red states supported slavery, I might just fly off the handle. I'm not sure what handle or how far I'll fly, but there will be a definite off-ward motion and flying of indeterminate distance in an unknown direction. And I'm sure I don't need to point out that when these states seceded from the Union, they were all being run by the Democratic party.
UPDATE: Forgot this, but I wanted to get it in writing someplace. Remember back when the media was promising a 5-15% boost for Kerry? Kerry's supporters seem unhappy that it never materialized... I think they're wrong. I suspect the 49% Kerry managed to muster would've been around 40% without the Dan Rathers of the world trying to impose their will on the masses.
For what it's worth, I retract my anger over Kerry's late concession. Election's over, we can all get along again.
-- Kurt Vonnegut, Mother Night
The 2000 election was a key point in American history, but not for any of the reasons usually cited; it was key because Al Gore graciously introduced the electoral system to the nation's slavering horde of lawyers, and now nothing will ever be easy again.
Fox called the election for Bush, and then Drudge called the election for Bush, then NBC called the election for Bush - though actually I beat them all to the punch. But then John Edwards paraded out on stage, still grinning like a lobotomy patient, and declared that they weren't conceding. So NBC basically retracted their prior sensible declaration, and Brokaw - repeating Edwards' feeble protestations - mused on camera that if he waited four years he can wait a few days.
What I find amazing is that Brokaw didn't even try to make it sound like that wasn't his personal position; I guess the hours are getting to him.
So now, once again, a democratic presidential candidate - a wooden, humorless man with no real track record and no appeal to anyone save for his party affiliation - loses to the better man. And once again, that democrat refuses to give in to reality or sanity, and holds out for some absurd deus ex machina. And once again, George W. Bush is clearly and legally elected as the President of the United States, while his opponent splashes mud on his legitamacy and thus ushers in four more years of baseless allegations of a stolen election or silent coup.
Thank you, Al Gore. Thank you, John Kerry. Thank you, Tom Brokaw and Dan Rather.
Oh wait, did I say thank?! I meant fuck.
It's 10:30, and we me here at Neutiquam Erro are calling the election for Bush.
Some sort of problem with the electronic ballot systems here in Collier county; probably related to everybody in the county but me and my immediate family being mildly retarded. But I'm really not concerned, as Bush seems to be winning the state even without the substantial boost we'll likely provide.
My current prediction has Bush ending up with nearly 300 electoral votes (290-something) and in the neighborhood of 57% of the popular vote. We'll see how the tallies bear out my mentalics.
Updated 10:52 PM: Just flipped over to good 'ol Dan Rather for a laugh. He just decided to call Pennsylvania for Kerry, apparently just so he could doomishly prophesy that Bush now needs both Florida and Ohio to win. It really is amazing that he gets away this.
For those not paying attention (and for tomorrow, when I'll have forgotten), at this point nobody has called any of those three states by CBS, and Florida is at this point a far clearer call than PA. It's not that I object to calling PA for Kerry, because that's clearly where it's going, it's that I object to doing so merely for the thrill of spinning things his own way.
I'm not going to say 'vote or die', because that's just ridiculous. I am going to say that George W. Bush, for all his faults, has demonstrated a much broader willingness to put the safety of Americans first, whereas John Kerry has yet to demonstrate anything much grander than a burning yearning to be President.