Behold, an Apple press release... from the future!
Cisco's System's decision to use the name 'iPhone' for their line internet communications was a clear attempt to borrow from the popularity and overwhelmingly positive public perception of Apple's line of consumer products. This decision was knowingly and willfully made with the clear intent of confusing consumers and imparting the Apple imprimatur on these uninspired offerings. As a result, Apple Inc. filed suit today charging Cisco with fraud, copyright infringement, slander, and libel. Apple CEO Steve Jobs said, "Obviously we regret having to take this drastic step, but Cisco has left us little alternative. We made a good-faith effort to settle the issue amicably, including a very generous offer for licensing rights, but Cisco has apparently decided that their stolen slice of Apple's brand is very nearly priceless. As it happens, we agree that the value of our branding conventions is incalculable, which is why we've been forced to take legal action to reclaim it."
Apple ignited the personal computer revolution in the yada, yada, boilerplate.